I did what every other 'Gram'ing' loving mama did when my child was starting preschool-2 (it is totally a thing...apparently daycare makes it sound like the kid is not being educated), I took all the pictures and did the customary 'basic' letterboard. Hubs and I videoed the whole waking into school, meeting the teacher and then watching our child fall apart as we left her behind in an unrecognizable room and with people she didn't know.
I then did what every parent told me I would do, I lost it in the car and promptly told Hubs that his job from now on was dropping her off and I'd pick her up, I couldn't do it.
I will be the keeping the preschool name out of this as we still have many friends whose children attend there and once EV is a little more advanced, it is still a contender to return too.
When I got pregnant, Hubs and I knew that while we were both on FMLA that we would get EV acclimated to preschool so that the grandmas who watch her didn't have too. My mother particularly under no circumstance would EVER leave EV anywhere crying. We chose our neighborhood preschool for a variety of reasons, it was in a corner of a shopping plaza without easy access, the playground was well covered from potentially prying eyes (and couldn't be accessed from the back), there seemed to be a security procedure in place (keycode, etc.) and they had cameras (apparently this is uncommon). Although we did not have access to the cameras, the staff/faculty there did (something was better than nothing as far as I was concerned). The preschool also had a strict regimented day that would be similar to pre-k and kindergarten, so EV would be learning a lot and developing that noggin of hers.
*wish I knew where that bruise came from #mamaproblems
We were definitive that this was the place for her. Until it wasn't...
Now, she is my first child and I am a ::cough cough: older parent, so most of my mama friends either have older kids and could not provide me much insight or had completely opposite experiences and understood my discomfort (or at least pretended to be understanding). So anyway, all parents get a daily report on the kids activities, what they ate, how much, naptime, potty time, etc. Every day I would see activities that the kids were doing and everyday I saw absolutely nothing nor was she coming home with anything. I have no idea if this is commonplace or not, but I figured maybe they wait until the end of the week to present the parents with all of the work..they do not. Strike One. Sean and I dropped her off the first day, but the second day when I went to go pick her up there was someone I hadn't seen originally the first day (this is important I promise), she was talking to someone else and when she was finished and acknowledged me, I let her know that I was there to pick up EV. She was very friendly and showed me that I could just walk in and get her. Ummm....no ID checking, no passcode that you made me create, nothing...just a "Hi Mommy, you can go right in!" Strike Two. So I go in and get EV, it's a Thursday mind you and when I walk in after naptime, there is my kid up against the wall, her hands bracing the wall and her legs spread and she is being changed this way. Again, I do not know any better, but to me my daughter should not be doing the 'I'm getting arrested stance' to be changed. Furthermore, when I bend down to say hi, I notice there is a little boy already in the bathroom who is just staring watching the whole thing...no ma'am. Strike Three. Friday, I pick her up and by Sunday she is immensely sick, like two weeks sick...was put on steroids sick. She had been in the NICU for four months so not only were we concerned but our Pediatrician told us to pull her out and wait a little longer. Strike Four.
At this time, my mom who is older proceeded to get what ever EV had (I have never seen her that sick) and this is when she pulled the Grandma ultimatum. It was, either you take her out of preschool or you have to have someone else watch her. Seeing them both that sick, it was hard to argue. Between her and the Pediatrician who didn't think starting her this early based on her medical history was a good idea anyway, the decision was a no brainer. Lets be honest though. Two kids under three is a lot for two people, let alone one. Sean and I ended up taking a date day ( a little day drinking, eating, Target, and Starbucks...it was heaven) and see if she could handle both kids. Thank heavens she loved it and promptly instructed us to cancel daycare. The decision was not made lightly and I 100% understand that not everyone can make this decision, but the options were made available to us and we were able to make the best decision for our family based on having these choices. Also, I am not saying that this will not be where she ends up later on, but for now this is the conclusion. She is very petite, her speech is limited and her stint in the NICU does have her delayed, so I needed to take into consideration where she was at physically and verbally.
Before we finalized, we did a final check of preschools in the area...
Although other neighboring preschools had similar ratings and seemed more bright and learning conducive, the security around the area was deplorable. One in particular was right behind a Burger King and gas station and was easily accessible for any ol' person to walk onto the property. By no means am I saying this to imply that either place means that they are sketch, but it does mean that a lot of people frequent these establishments and it was very easy to walk from either place to the preschool without any barrier or being questioned about what they were doing on the property. In addition, the windows were only moderately tinted and you could actually drive around the entire building which had multiple access points. Marjorie Stoneman Douglas is only about a half hour drive from us and I work in higher education, so security is my top priority. They did have cameras that for an additional $15 a month parents could access, but that was really the only benefit that even had me remotely leaning towards them. After checking out the perimeter of the place, I called Hubs from the parking lot there and told him about the attractive gym teacher and the 5 or 6 kids (around EV's age) that were running around outside. Why is this important you ask?
The conversation went a little something like this...
Me: So there is a really attractive young gym teacher here and he only seems to have about 5 or 6 kids running around outside. Its weird though, it is only a tiny strip of grass and there are cones, no playground or anything from what I can see.
Hubs: Okayyyyyy
Me: Aren't you going to ask me how I know the gym teacher is attractive?
Hubs: Ummmmm why do you know that?
Me: Because I can flippin (but not flippin, cue expletive) see him!!! Nothing is protecting these kids from being watched...any ol' person can walk from the gas station or the Burger King and see what these kids look like!!
Hubs: Soooo that place is out huh?
Me: ::sigh::
So all in all this long winded story is tell you, that preschool 2 is definitely a thing, its just not a thing for EV... yet...and honestly I am ok with that. I did reach out to a lot of my current new mama friends, just to make sure I was not taking the decision to the extreme and I got a lot of the 'she needs social interaction' conversation, but she is social and we are always working on her phonetics, spelling, numbers, etc., she is very active and we do a lot of activities with her both inside and outside. At the end of the day it came down to health and yes, I know that in order for her to build up her immune system, being in preschool is good for her, but most of the kids present did not spend 5 months in a NICU and if our Pediatricians' suggestion from day one was to wait, I needed to listen to the man who has always had her best interest at heart. I have never seen a man grin ear to ear so much as when we told him we were removing her.
Moral of the story: Don't take first day pictures because they may not actually be first day, but they did turn out damn cute and are getting framed and hung regardless ;)